The Power of the Loving Woman: A Take on Mildred Loving
- Alicia Gruenert
- Apr 3
- 10 min read
“I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people’s religious beliefs over others”. - Mildred Loving
From innovation and upheaval to dire enforcements, the 20th century was the first century humanity would witness atrocities executed through diverse media. The world was plagued by dreadful diseases, famine, senseless wars, racism, and sexism, all within a one-hundred-year period. The United States of America—considered at the time a world leader—exhibited a duality of characteristics, nuanced by their effects in the name of progress. For context, slavery officially ended in 1865 in America, yet racial segregation became a deeply entrenched practice that reinforced racism and prejudice within the fabric of society, ultimately institutionalized through the Jim Crow laws. These laws perpetuated division, violence, and fear among Americans. However, as history has shown us time and time again, with hatred and pain also comes hope and love. One ordinary woman of color, Mildred Loving—whose very name spoke of affection—became the beating heart of a legal battle for love that would pose a historic challenge and reshape the discourse on interracial marriage forever. Mildred Loving changed U.S. law when the 1967 Supreme Court ruling legalized interracial marriage following her union to her white husband, Richard Loving. In this article, we delve into the life of this extraordinary woman, whose fight not only changed American law but also profoundly transformed American culture.
The birth of racism in North America
The “New World,” a term filled with optimism, ironically foreshadowed the contradictions and conflicts that would underpin American society. Between the 16th and 18th centuries, the brutal decline of Native American communities became drastically apparent, making indigenous peoples and their cultures increasingly rare. With this significant reduction, the New World—primarily through British colonists—introduced the first Africans to the Americas, establishing institutionalized slavery. The gruesome ramifications of slavery would endure for centuries. "The New World" was designed to favor white people and their descendants, while people of color were condemned to rely on a collective instinct for survival. Whether one identifies as Native American or African American, both heritages hold profoundly beautiful and rich traditions, which were, however, cast aside by the relentless power imbalance of the American legal system. Being both African American and Native American, Mildred Loving suffered from the palpable racism that was and is ingrained in American DNA. The 20th century was marked by extreme legal setbacks, with discriminatory laws and policies perpetuating racial inequalities and significantly limiting opportunities. This included anti-miscegenation laws (the prohibition of interracial marriage and, in some cases, the criminalization of interracial relationships)—that is, until Mildred and Richard Loving fought back against the deep-rooted American justice system.
The Loving’s Case
Compared to most, if not all, communities in the South, Central Point, Virginia (the home of Richard and Mildred Loving), was abundant in racial diversity.[1] Despite living in a state where interracial marriage was illegal and segregation was prevalent, this small community was made up of many multiracial residents, including white, Black, and Native American people. This may be because Central Point, Virginia, dating back to the 18th and 19th centuries, has an exceptional history of free Black landowners, which facilitated the establishment of a mixed-race community.[2] It would therefore not have been as peculiar for Mildred and Richard, being childhood friends, to eventually become romantically involved, fall in love, and want to get married and create a family of their own. On June 2, 1958, the Lovings quietly married in Washington, D.C. (a region that did not explicitly ban interracial marriages, unlike most Southern states that enforced such laws). After an intimate ceremony, the Lovings returned to their home in Virginia to continue living their ordinary lives together; they did not foresee the ordeal it would take for them to achieve that ordinary life. A little over a month after their wedding, at two in the morning, a blast of darkness entered their home, abruptly igniting their serene lives. The Lovings were arrested by the Caroline County Sheriff's Office and spent the night separately in cold, gloomy, confined jail cells. Convicted under Virginia law, which "forbids any white person and colored person from leaving the state for marrying each other and returning," Richard spent one night in jail, while Mildred, facing racial discrimination as a woman of color, was held for several days over the weekend. Once released, Mildred and Richard faced a formidable ultimatum from the judge, sentencing them to one year in prison—which the judge ultimately revoked—but instead banishing them both from their home state of Virginia. They promptly moved to Washington, D.C., where they raised their three children for just shy of a decade. However, the city's lifestyle starkly contrasted with the rural life they were so accustomed to, and the growing sense of isolation from their loved ones and familiar surroundings became overwhelming. The feeling of being out of place only intensified when their son, Donald, was struck by a car, narrowly surviving. It was at this moment that Mildred Loving and her husband decided to do what they deemed best to protect their family, returning to Virginia and facing the implications that their marriage signified.
The Lovings were not politically active, nor did they have any political aspirations; their fight was simply to love and live together freely, without restraints. They also did not have much money, certainly not enough to hire a lawyer. Yet, these limitations did not deter Mildred's determination to pursue her goal. Mildred's primary objective, alongside her husband, was to live peacefully. However, as circumstances evolved, her focus expanded to include a determination to challenge the legal system itself. Mrs. Loving boldly wrote to the United States Attorney General at the time, Robert F. Kennedy, pleading their case. I say "boldly" because both Richard and Mildred were introverted and reserved by nature. Unexpectedly, Kennedy replied to Mildred, saying there wasn't much he could do, but he referred her to the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), where she wrote another letter. Bernard S. Cohen was chosen by the ACLU to represent the Lovings because of his expertise in civil rights law and his dedication to social justice. In conjunction with his co-counsel, Philip Hirschkop, Cohen played a crucial role in challenging the constitutionality of Virginia's racial segregation laws. Their years-long efforts eventually led to the Supreme Court's historic 1967 decision that invalidated laws prohibiting interracial marriage. "Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State. These convictions must be reversed."[3] This affirmed the Lovings' right to marry and marked a significant victory for civil rights in the United States. Cohen had stated in an interview before the case ruling by the Supreme Court that marriage is a fundamental right for men, but in our case, it is also the right of women.[4] Millions of couples have been impacted by the 1967 ruling; just three years later, it was reported that approximately 310,000 interracial marriages were recorded in the U.S. By 2015, this number had increased to over 1 million interracial couples, all stemming from Mildred and Richard’s legal confrontation.[5]
Redefining Activism: Human and Racial Equality
The complex case of the Lovings, which conclusively changed U.S. law forever, cannot be fully explained or interpreted in all its nuances, especially not within the scope of a single article. However, what I aim to highlight here is the quiet but determined spirit of Mildred Loving, whose steadfastness ultimately reshaped U.S. history. Despite the extensive coverage and significant legacy of American civil rights history, Mildred Loving remains underrepresented, especially in discussions of human rights activism. Her legacy is often overshadowed by more prominent figures, but her impact as a catalyst for racial justice cannot be overstated. Mildred’s resolute actions played an instrumental role in challenging the status quo and ensuring legal recognition for interracial couples.
Activism is commonly understood as taking action to support or oppose a controversial issue, and while Mildred Loving may not have been a central figure in the Civil Rights Movement, her role significantly challenges conventional definitions of activism. Mildred and her husband, Richard, made a powerful stand against laws that banned interracial marriages in many states. Their actions directly exposed the deep-seated racial injustices that were still prevalent in America. Mildred’s challenge to the law was not just about her personal freedom; it was a statement against the entrenched racial discrimination that affected countless others. As a woman of color married to a white man in the 1960s, her very existence defied the racial boundaries of the time. Through her courageous stand, Mildred became an unintentional advocate for love and equality, pushing back against prejudices that sought to keep people apart. Her unwavering commitment to the fundamental right to love without discrimination became a beacon for others striving for justice and fairness. Mildred’s decision to confront the law and speak to numerous diverse media, refusing to choose between legal constraints and her right to love, was not an act of submission but of bold leadership. In fighting against the establishment, they became the underdogs who triumphed, creating a movement that reshaped American history and gave new meaning to the fight for racial equality. Mildred and Richard were the first to legally marry as an interracial couple; for this statement to be made, the pair set in motion what civil rights leaders such as MLK Jr., Thurgood Marshall, and Rosa Parks, to name a few, sought and preached—the fight for equality and justice. Their fight, and Mildred’s advocacy for her and everyone’s right as a human being, shows her commitment to human rights above all else.
Although neither Mildred nor Richard Loving was formally involved in the Civil Rights Movement, their actions highlighted the pressing need for racial justice in America. Mildred should be seen as a human rights activist, as her legal and public efforts to secure the right to interracial marriage advanced the broader cause of equality, shifting both public attitudes and legal standards. In challenging social norms and discriminatory laws, Mildred Loving became an advocate for love that transcended race, gender, and societal expectations. “My generation was bitterly divided over something that should have been so clear and right. The majority believed what the judge said, that it was God’s plan to keep people apart, and that the government should discriminate against people in love. But I have lived long enough now to see big changes. The older generation’s fears and prejudices have given way, and today’s young people realize that if someone loves someone, they have a right to marry.”[6]
Love’s Triumph Over Prejudice
The 20th century ushered in a new era of profound change, marked by the defiance of traditional social constructs. In the U.S., women gained the right to vote in 1920, the first and second waves of feminism and the birth control movement were initiated, and both World Wars saw women rise into unconventional work roles. Moreover, women of color had to fight for decades longer than white women for voting rights, culminating in the 1960s when women of color took a leading role in the Civil Rights Movement7. Mildred's legacy—her fight to keep her marriage intact, particularly as a woman of color married to a white man in the 1960s—does not diminish her ethnicity, identity, or gender as a powerful, outspoken woman. Rather, it deepens the complexity of her struggle and her resilience, both personally and within society. Every time she spoke up, she quietly but powerfully proclaimed her belief in love without shame, in equality regardless of status, and championed individual human rights. Through all of this, she practiced self-preservation, advocating for equality and creating a better history for people of color in the United States, despite being in an interracial home. “I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people—black or white, young or old, gay or straight—seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.”[8]
The Historic Loving Legacy
Mildred Loving had never sought or intended to expand the definition of what it means to be an activist, demonstrating clearly that one needn't have any political persuasions in order to fight for something. She stood against the Supreme Court not just for herself and her husband, but to advocate for the basic right to marry, no matter the race or gender. As she stated, "It's no longer just about me and Richard; it's about all the people who are treated unfairly just because of who they love."[9] She advocated during and decades after her court case and after the unfortunate, sudden passing of Richard in 1975. Mildred Loving's influence has extended to important Supreme Court cases that shaped LGBTQ+ rights and same-sex marriages in the 21st century, including Lawrence v. Texas, United States v. Windsor, and Obergefell v. Hodges, which legalized same-sex marriage. The U.S. Supreme Court directly cited Loving v. Virginia in two landmark decisions, Lawrence and Obergefell, to help decriminalize same-sex sexual activity and affirm the right to marry for same-sex couples. [10]
The Lovings are remembered every year on Loving Day, June 12th, the date the Supreme Court gave its historic ruling. It is a day to celebrate racial equality and raise awareness of the Lovings' impact. Mildred's legacy exceeds the law: she was a wife, mother, and human rights activist whose quiet, long-lasting strength continues to inspire. Her story is a powerful reminder of the lasting need for equality and justice, and of the incredible power and influence one revolutionary woman can have, no matter how introverted, in shaping the world.
1 Phyl Newbeck, Virginia Hasn't Always Been for Lovers: Interracial Marriage Bans and the Case of Richard and Mildred Loving, 1st ed. (Carbondale: Southern Illinois University Press, 2005), chap. 2, 17. https://muse.jhu.edu/book/22628.
2 "Virginia's Free African Americans, 1780-1865," The Virginia Historian,
3 Chief Justice Earl Warren (Majority), Griswold v. Connecticut, 381 U.S. 479 (1965),
4 HBO Documentary Films, The Loving Story, directed by Nancy Buirski (HBO, 2011). 5 Pew Research Center, "Trends and Patterns in Intermarriage," Pew Research Social & Demographic Trends, May 18, 2017, https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2017/05/18/1-trends-and-patterns-in-intermarriage/.
6 "Listening Again to Loving," Children's Defense Fund, 2007,
7 Leslie M. Alexander, "The Challenge of Race: Rethinking the Position of Black Women in the Field of Women's History," Journal of Women's History 16, no. 4 (2004): pg.53
8 "Listening Again to Loving," Children's Defense Fund,
9 Loving, Mildred. "Mildred Loving’s Speech Prepared for the 40th Anniversary of Loving v. Virginia." QSaltLake, June 12, 2014.
10 HISTORY "How Loving v. Virginia Led to Legalized Interracial Marriage," Feb 27, 2018, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-qlS_J4Mho
Bibliography
Primary Sources:
Cohen, Bernard S. The Loving Story. Directed by Nancy Buirski. HBO Documentary Films, 2011. 33 min.
Loving, Mildred. "Mildred Loving’s Speech Prepared for the 40th Anniversary of Loving v. Virginia." QSaltLake, June 12, 2014.
Loving, Mildred. "Public Statement Submitted Just Before the Massachusetts Legislature’s Historic Vote Reaffirming Marriage Equality, and Read Aloud at a 40th Anniversary Celebration of the Loving v. Virginia Decision." 2007. https://www.childrensdefense.org/listening-again-to-loving/
Warren, Earl, Chief Justice. Loving v. Virginia, 388 U.S. 1 (1967). Oyez. Accessed December 9, 2024. https://www.oyez.org/cases/1966/395.
Secondary Sources:
Alexander, Leslie M. "The Challenge of Race: Rethinking the Position of Black Women in the Field of Women's History." Journal of Women's History 16, no. 4 (2004): 50-60. https://dx.doi.org/10.1353/jowh.2004.0074.
HBO Documentary Films, The Loving Story, directed by Nancy Buirski (HBO, 2011).
Newbeck, Phyl. Virginia Hasn't Always Been for Lovers: Interracial Marriage Bans and the Case of Richard and Mildred Loving. 1st Edition ed., Carbondale: Southern Illinois University Press, 2005. https://muse.jhu.edu/book/22628.
Pascoe, Peggy. “Race, Gender, and Intercultural Relations: The Case of Interracial Marriage.” Frontiers: A Journal of Women Studies 12, no. 1 (1991): 5–18.
Pew Research Center. "Trends and Patterns in Intermarriage." May 18, 2017. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2017/05/18/1-trends-and-patterns-in-intermarriage/.
Zimmermann, Richard G. "Virginia’s Free African Americans, 1780-1865." The Virginia Historian. https://thevirginiahistorian.com/virginias-free-african-americans-1780-1865/.
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